To an eccentric professor who is very...informative

At my psychological anthropology class, talking about the intersex movement...

Professor O'Rourke: "Jamie Curtis was intersex and had an ambiguous genitalia. They made her into a girl because...it was easy."

Ryan: "I can understand why. Excuse me if I squirm."

To someone who may be slightly insecure about their straightness

In El Cajon with James. Some guy calls him a 'faggot' from a distance...coward.

James: "Did someone just call me a 'faggot?'"

Ryan: "I heard it too, but hey, that word describes my kind of guy." ;)

James is straight.

To a cashier who takes their sweet time on you

I was preordering Dark Souls for the 360 at a Gamestop in Chino Hills. At the register, I was asked for my phone number since I was in their record, but she "forgot" it three times for...obvious reasons ;) She was friendly so I warmed up to her pretty quick.


While processing my preorder...


Cashier: "May I see your ID?" (since Dark Souls is rated M)

Is she really calling me out?

Ryan: "Yea, I put this mustache on just this morning."

We giggles and she asks for my phone number the third time which Jean-Eric, a friend, told me that was the CUE to ask for hers. Yea, if I wasn't such a lunk-head, if my favorite color wasn't 'clear' and favorite food wasn't 'mud' because that's the only food I can spell, I would have. She even "forgot" what I wanted to preorder a few times and even asked if I also wanted to preorder Rage. I paid with my debit card with the Human Rights Campaign Visa signature....probably a bad move.

I'll see her again at the release night. We'll see how it goes. ;)

To a friend being too self-conscious

Mark: "You ever send out an e-mail that gets completely misunderstood?" 

Ryan: "All the time." 

Mark: "I think I have upset a manager in another office."

Ryan: "Just wear a cape and hold a staff to work the next day. Your manager would be more understanding."


.......

Ryan: "Just attach a photo of yourself to every email."

Mark: "Just so they know who they are dealing with."

To a coworker who is also a compulsive eBay-er

We haven't talked today until...

Ben: "49 minutes!"

Ryan: (smiles) "Auction?"

Both: "Teehee."

He eBays all the time...even for some mediocre everyday stuff. He tells me he does it for the thrill. :)

To a friend who is excessively suspicious about everything

The Skeptic: "You seem overly cheerful and easily amused by anything."

A Smart Person: "Different moods and attitudes leave you paying attention to certain details of your everyday life. Ultimately, you're the gatekeeper of your perception. You're missing out a lot."

To a sadomasochistic friend who is applying for med school

texting

Ryan: "Good luck on your presentation tomorrow!"

Jasmine: "Hahaha thanks! Unfortunately, I would rather use that time for secondaries (the second step in the application process). I have 17 of them to do now. /sadface"

Ryan: "Good luck with life then!"